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Masculinity is defined as “a set of qualities, characteristics or roles generally considered typical of, or appropriate to, a man. It can have degrees of comparison: “more masculine”, “most masculine’”.” 

Machismo (/məˈzm, mɑː-, -ˈɪ-/; Spanish: [maˈtʃizmo]; Portuguese: [mɐˈʃiʒmu]), or machoism, is a word derived from Spanish and Portuguese, where it has the meaning of a belief in the supremacy of men over women.[1] (See androcentrism, male chauvinism, misogyny, patriarchy, sexism, etc.) However, in English the word means instead the sense of being macho or manly.”

This is a topic that has become reflection worthy for me in recent weeks. There are men who carry themselves in a way that would suggest their belief that masculinity is tied to how loud they “growl” and figuratively stomp around making noise.  To some, masculinity means that they are accountable only to themselves, can come and go as they please, can say and do as they please since they are the boss – the man – the shot caller! Some men feel that they should be respected simply because of being born male, and as such are attention hounds who completely disregard the potentially detrimental impacts of their behavior on others.  After all, “I AM A MAN,” is how they see life.  

When an real man is clear about his role, he has no need to prove such – he simply conducts himself in a manner that speaks for itself. He has no need to “growl” or “stomp” around so as to intimidate others or tread on their person.  With true masculinity you find mature maleness that operates in a way of wisdom – such as was the case with King Solomon.  When presented with an issue surrounding the motherhood of a baby, King Solomon did not yell, shout, threaten, intimidate or stomp around to make his points. He used God-given wisdom – tempered with compassion to make the correct determination.  

The real “Big Balla” “Shot Calla,” does not need to ever tell others that he is so; they will know it by the respect that he garners just by the way he leads, speaks, the respect he shows, by his humility, by his ability to listen and reason, by the way he treats others – especially women and children, by the way he takes responsibility and ownership, by his ability to shift and adapt, by his living in purpose, by his example, by his ability to apologize and maintain peace.  He knows that it is easy to lose control, do whatever, and say whatever his flesh tells him to. It is masculine to bridle a wayward tongue and manly to dominate his flesh – to use wise reasoning along with practical and respectful communication.  He knows that he is strong, and therefore does not need to prove it – his manner of being speaks for itself! 

Macho is immature, lacks confidence, has things to prove – mostly to self, behaves inappropriately, does not listen, is never wrong, can only see one way, lacks respect, lacks self-control – yet is controlling, is prideful, and allows flesh to dictate behavior and words spoken.  Masculine is wise, mature, protective, listens, hears, covers, respects, regards authority, resolves – trusts God for direction and leans not to his own understanding. 

It seems to me that masculinity embodies what it is to be a man who covers his wife, family, friends, and others in a way that lets them know that they are loved and valued. Masculinity is easy to respect as it exudes respectability, reasonableness; masculine males are in control of how they speak and what they do – they are not given to intimidating tactics, but seek to problem solve using wisdom.  This man does not have to stomp around; others are waiting for and delighting in his presence – waiting on what he has to say – waiting on his prayer – looking for whatever he has to bring, knowing that it is good and will build up and fortify! He is a breath of fresh air and one that does not pleasure in problems, but in solutions.  He knows the origin of his help, and seeks to be more like God each day.  He is a prayer warrior and asks the Lord for strength and wisdom.  He prays, He sets an example of godliness.  He loves.  He covers.  He’s wise.  He’s kind.  He thinks.  He observes.  He protects.  His voice is gentle yet firm when necessary.  He’s strong enough to hold his family, yet gentle enough to soothe a baby.  He works hard.  He is a man that exudes confidence and seeks peace. 

I am thankful to have a masculine husband – one who is peaceful and peaceable – one who covers me and is always a gentleman.  He is so easy to respect and hear because of his kind delivery and respect for my intelligence and individuality. He is affectionate and takes every opportunity to make sure I am covered and ok.  He makes decisions and seeks to problem solve together, though certain circumstances warrant his taking the lead and he does so with seasoned communication and no trace of condescension. He’s loving.  He’s chivalry personified and chauvinism is far from him.  He’s a man – 20 feet tall in character and integrity with no sign of macho or machismo anywhere near him … for that, I am grateful!

Masculine or Macho.  Is there a difference?  Absolutely, there is!!!!!